How to Handle Rejection As An Artist
Benjamin Franklin said the only two certainties in life are death and taxes. If you’re an artist, you can add “rejection” to that list.
We’ve all heard the adage: for every yes, a thousand nos. The truth is that no matter how many success stories you read or inspirational quotes you pin to your wall, rejection fucking sucks.
Just about every major playwriting opportunity and screenwriting opportunity has rejected me over the last four years. And each rejection is still a trigger for my depression and anxiety.
The usual stuff helps; therapy, gratitude, exercise, and, yes, medication. But none of that changes what I’ve now come to accept about myself, that I don’t handle rejection well. I literally have a playlist for my post-rejection hype up because my rejection lows are low.
So, the other week, after a post-rejection period that was exceptionally low, I created a rejection savings game (never thought you’d hear those three words together, did ya’?) And surprisingly...it’s kind of helped?...!
Here’s how the Rejection to Resilience Savings Challenge works.
Step One: Aim to Fail
Does the thought of failure make you want to hide under your covers and cry to T Swift? Same.
But there’s another way!
Inspired by Kim Liao’s 2016 LitHub piece, Why You Should Aim for 100 Rejections a Year, I’ve decided to make failure my goal.
It doesn’t feel like a choice as much as a necessity. I have to flip the script if I want to live a creative life that doesn’t leave me feeling uninspired, jealous, and downright depressed.
And this is where my fear of rejection meets gamification.
Step Two: Reward Yourself for Failing
As a personal finance nerd, I’ve decided to gamify my new 100 rejections a year goal.
Meet the Rejection to Resilience Savings Challenge!
I’ve created a rejection tracker (download it for free at the bottom of this page), where I’ll be tracking each application I send out.
For every rejection, I’ll be depositing $50 into a high yield savings account (I use and recommend the online bank, Ally).
If you want to join me in the Rejection to Resilience Savings Challenge, you can deposit, however much you want for each “no.” Just remember to make it a sustainable amount and use a high yield savings account, so you get the best interest rate possible.
With my HYSA Ally, you can label each of your savings accounts.
My rejection fund is named “Self-producing fund” so that at the end of the year (or whenever I reach 100 rejections), I can take all my rejection money and use it to produce a project I’m excited by.
Step Three: Stop Waiting for Outside Support
We really shouldn’t be basing our self-worth or our careers on outside recognition.
Waiting for gatekeepers to give us the time, money, and support we need to create art is a waste of time.
Yes, institutional support and acceptance are nice. And they’re great when you have them.
But we also need to create opportunities for ourselves, and that means saving for our projects.
With the Rejection to Resilience Savings Challenge, you’ll make applying and auditioning less painful and, in the end, have a large chunk of change to show for your failures. That feels like success to me!
How has the Rejection to Resilience Savings Challenge worked for me? Since implementing it, I’ve felt a lot better when that inevitable “no” email comes through.
Having an action to take immediately after a rejection (moving money to my savings account) has helped stop my negative thought pattern.
It’s also left me feeling excited about all the things that I can do with my “rejection money,” like produce a short film, web series, or play. So far, I have $200 saved!
More importantly, I feel a lot better about applying to different opportunities. In the end, we can’t control rejection, but we can control how we respond to it.
Fill out the form below to download my free application tracker so you can start your Rejection to Resilience Savings Challenge today.
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